roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (Viva! La Revolution!)
I was over at the First Cup earlier, and the radio played me what may have been the single worst commercial in the history of the medium. It had... I think he was a pirate? Or maybe a king or something?... complaining about how his no-good wife was going to take away all his ill-gotten booty in the divorce. And then the voice-over told him to call some number to talk to divorce lawyers who stick up for Men's Rights in divorce cases? And then the queen (or something) was like "I heard you called 1-800-DIVORCE, let's have sexy tiems nao?

To sum up, the secret to making yourself irresistible to women is to screw over other women in court with attack-dog divorce lawyers. Thanks, radio!
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (My whole head hurts SO MUCH)
I really wish Perseus didn't suck so bad. Every time I run into a problem that only it can solve, I know it's going to end in tears. We should see if grey-eyed Athena can get him some more CPU cycles.

In other news, this book might be the most quietly weird thing I've seen all month. It's a fruit of that Google/Stanford library-eating project, and it looks like it got checked out 7 times in the preceding 35 years. Turn straight to page 347 if you're impatient -- it's like a stoned dorm-room conversation about the chicken/egg paradox gone feral. Near as I can tell, he's saying that it would have been impossible for God to create a thing without simultaneously creating its entire physical history. I think. Consequently, there doesn't seem to be any possible epistemology of creation, since a world created yesterday is going to be indistinguishable (even to the creatures inhabiting it) from one created 4000 years ago. Meanwhile, Darwin's raising holy hell over at the Geological Society and getting ready to publish the Origin of Species in two years, so I suppose if there was ever a time for a godly man to overdo it a bit on the bongrips and see what falls out on the page, that must have seemed like it.
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (Default)
And now, for something COMPLETELY FUCKING DIFFERENT.

(Then you can wash it out of your brain with Feist in a sequined strapless jumpsuit.)
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (WELL?! DO YOU?!?)
So I went to the Douglas Wolk / Austin Grossman reading/presentation/panel/event at MCAD tonight, and it was pretty sweet -- the thing itself was pretty engaging, plus I got to hang out with Steve Burt and Jesse, who I haven't seen for a while and who are moving to Massachusetts to accommodate his new professorial gig at Harvard. (Dang. No more hanging out with the cats, I guess.)

Anyway, I learned a great many things, but I specifically want to share this conversation from the final leg of the afterparty.

Rod: Well, [the Old Stillwater Prison]'s gone, now.
Michael: What?
Rod: Yeah. Arson. These 17-year-old kids. Burned it down.
Michael: Seriously?
Rod: Yeah, they were, like, these quasi-urban-explorers, and they broke into the place to go look around and they found all these birds, nailed to the wall.
Nick (entering conversation): What? HOLY CROW.
Rod: That was the most visible thing; they found all this other evidence of, like...
Nick: Of serious evil?
Rod: Yeah, pretty much. And they were just like, "This place is evil; we must destroy it." So they took some videotape of it and then just torched the place and left.
Michael: Did they get caught?
Rod: Well, the cops caught up with them pretty quickly; I don't think anything particularly serious happened to 'em.
Michael: Anyway, I get the feeling this is all coming back around to--
Rod: That's right, the Circle Pond Cave Satanists.
Michael: I knew it.

(I'll skip past the part about the eviscerated goat stuffed with fruit. This has been your Cautionary Tale of the Outer Suburbs for the day.)
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (WELL?! DO YOU?!?)
While trying to find out when the Lyttle Lyttons get posted this year (late on April 15, as it turns out), I ran into THIS.

(It may or may not work if you didn't read the originals as a kid. Me, I just about died.)
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (Default)
Um, WOW. It's like Wondermark on really bad acid. (via Neil Gaiman.)
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (Viva! La Revolution!)
WHAT.



Yeah, highs of minus seven. There are things I will miss about this place, and there are things I will not.
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (WELL?! DO YOU?!?)
First, buy a heavy pair of rubber boots and a weed whacker. (--via: BoingBoing. It's worth scrolling down and clicking through to the video of the next step, which involves acetone, HCl, and a microwave oven, and results in recognizably snortable coke.)

I'm impressed by their ingenuity and their ballsy attitude toward hazmats and psychotic guerrillas. But damn, that looks like a pretty mean life. Don't snort flake, kids.
roadrunnertwice: Vesta Tilley, Victorian drag king (WELL?! DO YOU?!?)
Submitted without comment, gleefully.

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Nick Eff

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