How to Wine

Apr. 10th, 2020 08:21 pm
roadrunnertwice: DTWOF's Lois in drag. Dialogue: "Dude, just rub a little Castrol 30 weight into it. Works for me." (Castrol (Lois))
[personal profile] roadrunnertwice

Picking a wine from the store is weirdly difficult, but some years back Ruth and I discovered the cheat code: get something Portuguese, and spend $8-14 on it.

This NEVER FAILS, because:

  • There’s only ever a handful of Portuguese wines at a given store, so it’s easy to make a snap decision,
  • they are all excellent,
  • they are all inexpensive.

Not only is the result always good, but it’s good in a universal crowd-pleasing way. If you don’t know anything about wine but sometimes get asked to bring a bottle of red to a party (remember parties?), this is the only trick you need to remember.

I get the impression that Portugal is so perfectly suited to viniculture that producing bad wine requires active malice.