Roadrunner Twice

So. On the bike ride home from the 331 Club tonight, someone threw an egg at me. Good aim, too; hit me right on the cheekbone. Left a sweet bruise. Major points for a bad job well done.

Now, if I was over 40 and had a certain hormonal equilibrium, I could deploy the tried-and-true "forgiveness" post, in which one recognizes that we're all going through hard shit and that it's got to be a rough social situation that leaves someone no release but to throw eggs at hippie fags on bicycles. But you know what? I'm still young, and my default emotional response is pissy, intolerant vindictiveness. I'm getting better at suppressing it, but shitcocks who throw eggs at motherfuckers just aren't worth it.

Eggchuckers. Look. I've been there. You're not troubled. You're just a fucking asshole, and I would appreciate it greatly if you would just stop breathing, keel over, and die. By the time you're able to drive a car, you should be capable of some basic empathy. You're clearly not, and you're using up resources that could just as well be spent on someone who's worthy of actual human love. We'd be better off without you. Please, for the love of god, just jump. C'mon. End your life and stop the pain.

Alternately, grow the fuck up.

So check this out:



That's all I own of my bike, anymore. Go figure that'd happen on the one day this month I lock it outside overnight.

Anyway, the Greasepit is kaput as of late last year, so I'm trying to get in touch with the Mac Bike kids. Situation is developing.

Also, I was at the liquor store, and was wondering why the price of Summit suddenly went up like 30¢ per sixpack this month. As always, The Internet had the answer.

LIFE IS AWESOME, GUYS.

Man, remember that business with my phone? Well, no one in the Minneapolis area can do anything, but Nokia can fix it! For a hundred damn bucks! (I paid eighty-including-shipping for it back when it was the hot shit new model.) Cingular is unwilling or unable to help, I can't be bothered to tell which. Point is, my otherwise perfectly functional phone is headed to the recyclers. This moment of waste has been brought to you by corporate avarice and the letter F.

On the other hand, it's an old enough model that they're going for 30 bucks unlocked on eBay these days. Hmm.