roadrunnertwice | Entries tagged with alcohol

OK, so the standard martini is gin, a little dry vermouth, and a green olive. But then you've got the Gibson, which is the same liquids plus a pickled onion. And I'm positive there's another variant that uses one of those miniature gherkin pickles (which I always think are kind of dry and tasteless, but you do you).

But: when you get a falafel or whatever from Wolf & Bear, they also give you a little baggie with a few kalamata olives, one pepperoncini, and half a dill pickle. My plan is, the next time I get takeout from there, I'm gonna make a martini with the whole fuckin' sack.

Current Music: Arvi Teikari — Water Is Sink - The lake

Ok, you should probably check my math on this before using it for anything important, because I definitely got confused and had to backtrack a couple times, BUT:

The density of ethanol at room temp is about 0.789 g/ml.
From this anecdotal analysis (measurement is likely fine, but it looks like a small and arbitrary set of samples), it looks fairly common for unfermented fruit juices to have an ethanol content of around (50 to 80 mg ethanol)/(1 dl of juice), or .05-.08g/100ml.
The unit of blood alcohol content (BAC) in the United States defines "1%" as being (1 g ethanol)/(1 dl of blood), or 1g/100ml.

So if we use the density to convert those units to the usual unit for beverages, which is % alcohol by volume (ABV), we get:

Fruit juice: (.05/.789)/100 = 0.000633714 and (.08/.789)/100 = 0.001013942, or around 0.063% to 0.101% ABV.
Blood of a person just above the legal limit of intoxication (.08% BAC) in the US: (.08/.789)/100 = 0.001013942, or 0.101% ABV.

So, unless vampires are hypersensitive to ethanol (which frankly seems maladaptive in an obligate anthropophage; I could maybe see it if you're diurnal, but a LOT of humans are probably fucked up during prime night-stalking hours), the blood of a mildly intoxicated person would have about as strong an effect as commercial orange juice.

To get up to an ABV of 0.5% (which is the limit for beverages like kombucha to dodge being regulated as alcohol, which turns out to be a whole fuckin' thing), you'd need the blood of a person at 0.39% BAC, which is... a notable achievement, let's say. Wikipedia's (probably not comprehensive) list of the highest recorded BACs hovers somewhere around 1.5%, which comes to about 1.9% ABV, and I think 2.0% or 2.5% is the lowest ABV I've seen in a normal beer (not counting non-alcoholic beers, which go through a low-pressure low-heat evaporation process or something to distill most of the ethanol out, and also I feel like I remember Brewdog did a stunt beer called "Nanny State" that somehow managed to crack the 2.0 barrier without distilling, but that's pretty abnormal). To get up to 3.5% "Utah beer" levels, such that a vampire could get a respectable buzz by pounding a six-pack of your blood, you'd need to somehow reach a 2.76% BAC.

Current Music: Quantic — An Announcement to Answer

Hey, did you notice that Jim Beam totally changed the labels for Old Overholt and Jim Beam Rye? They dropped the saturation and changed the lid on Overholt, and they ditched the fluorescent yellow of the JBR label in favor on this sort of tan color. It's almost as though someone in marketing came to their senses and realized that they looked totally trashy.

(The backstory here is that there seems to be something of a rye renaissance going on -- I expect Jim Beam is trying to surf the wave by making their bottles more attractive to people who aren't already converted. I'll kind of miss the bright yellow, though -- it made it look like I was drinking something really cheap and horrible, which always felt like I was pulling one over on everyone.)

Current Music: The Ditty Bops—Gentle Sheep

States in which Rainier Beer may be feasibly obtained:

(Obligatory links to other stuff from the visited states map dude.)

Train of thought? Well, sure, since you asked. ( Essay warning )

Current Music: Presidents of the United States of America—Video Killed The Radio Star

Aaron and Steve, my neighbors in the next building over, are endearingly sketchy. Remember how I mentioned all the people doing dodgy shit in the abandoned halfway house across the way? When I left them tonight, they were working on unbolting a grating so as to access a hypothesized underground tunnel into the building, because their old way in got boarded-over. They claim they're going to make a zombie movie in there.

Here's the iced tea that's in my fridge right now:

If not precisely easy, being green is at least pretty feasible tea
Brew up a liter of yerba maté; pour it into several mugs to cool.
Brew up a liter of dragon well green tea, but before you pour the water onto it, grate a piece of peeled ginger whose size is somewhere between the last joint of your index finger and the last joint of your thumb into the leaves. (Adjust downwards if you don't have tiny girly-hands like me.) Let it cool in whatever glass or ceramic containers remain in the kitchen.
Once it's all cool enough to put in plastic, pour most of each mug of maté into the pitcher (leaving behind the slurry of dust and sludge at the bottom of each one), then pour in all the green tea. Fridge.

Here's my new (tonight!) drink:

The "Grassland"

4-6 ice cubes
1/2 shot lemon juice (the good, organic, unsweetened stuff in the glass bottle)
1 shot rye whiskey
10-12 fl. oz. "Green is feasable" tea

Put it all in an empty 16-oz salsa jar in the order listed, and you're in business. Dry, mellow, cooling, and unassuming—exactly what I want when I come home at 10 and it's still 70 degrees out there. I'm wondering if it might be improved by brewing some whole spices in with the tea; maybe some cumin seeds or cardamom pods.

I just got turned on to rye a little while ago, and I'm still on my first bottle of it*, but man, new favorite. Sis, you would be totally with me on this. Plenty of flavor, but with no counterbalancing flaws. (Most of the Bourbons and Irishes that I've had have some weird twinges to them keep me from drinking them on a regular basis. I haven't really explored Scotch much.) Plus, as any fule kno, rye is the hippest grain.

_____
* The Jim Beam one, with that great yellow label. Makes it look SO much dodgier than it is.

Current Music: Beck - Halo Of Gold

1. TEMPEH SANDWICH MOTHERFUCKERS. With some young Dinosaur to back that shit up. Too bad I don't have any sourkraut or cheese.

2. I love the amount of free-association that goes on on The Current:
7:54 The Dining Rooms - Destination Moon
7:59 They Might Be Giants - Rest Awhile

3. I've noticed that I have a sort of nonsensical distrust of wines that aren't named after one kind of grape, and it's time to put the foot down on that. I mean seriously, what? I don't have the budget to buy anything better than plonk half the time anyhow, so why not go for a bastardized blend that'll maybe taste a little better than a cheap-ass shiraz? So I bought "white table wine" today. Hurray!

4. Garage sale season is definitely ON, but man, it is hard to buy furniture without a truck. I found a desk and a coffee table today that are FUCKING PERFECT FOR THIS APARTMENT, for 30 and 10 dollars, respectively. Deal of the century, right? But I might not be able to move 'em. Balls.

EDIT:
5. Hurray for meeting the neighbors, finally!

Current Music: MC Frontalot - Which MC Was That?

Roadrunner Twice

Entries tagged with alcohol

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Vampires Don't Get Fucked Up

Rebranding

Hints of lakes and sunset breezes, or: A life thus far in shitty beer.

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